I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
