i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
