God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
