I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
