I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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