On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
