I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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