Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
