She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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