i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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