forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
