We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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