he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
