It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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