so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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