I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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