Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
