I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
