I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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