so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
