I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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