i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
