theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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