Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
