I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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