Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
