It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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