So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Randomize
