Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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