very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
