At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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