your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Randomize
