I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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