I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Randomize
