I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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