he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
