you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
