I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
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And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
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I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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