im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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