The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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