Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
