I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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