The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
