if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
