my mouth tastes like poor choices
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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