went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
