the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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