i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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