I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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