She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
