The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
