i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
