If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
