we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
