you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize