I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize