At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
