YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize