so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
her facebook's as public as her vagina
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
