I wish i was in the wii world.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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