I feel like abortions should bother me more
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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