Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
