the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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