If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
