I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
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