i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
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got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
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Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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