Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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